A Practice of Non-violence
In Jr High, I discovered tapes of Dr. Martin Luther King in the library. His message of inherent worth and digniity of every person reached me deep into my bones. It was my first introduction to the tradition of nonviolentince. Since then, I've sought out and found teachers whove applied nonviolence to a variety of aspects of healing and liberation.
I had the opportunity to initiate and direct a Crisis Alternatives Program for the MHA in Essex Co. NY based upon principles of nonviolence. It helped hundreds of people avoid hospitalization, and find power inside themselves to choose actions to resolve their crises. Seven years ago, I read "Nonviolent Communication: a language of life" by Marshal Rosenberg. It took my understanding and practice of nonviolence to a new level.
Dr. Marshal Rosenberg's book offers tools and insights that help people develop skills for compassion. His work moves beyond speeches, and slogans such as "celebrate diversity" or "love your enemies," and helps us to actually gain the ability to realize these ideals. Students gain insights that with practice make compassion and responsible honesty possible. NVC helps people reach across ideological differences in order to unite and cooperate upon share values. NVC helps us increase our ability to make peace with others and within ourselves.
The “Compassionate Conversations” classes that I lead are based on NVC. They are highly experiential, and make use of music, poetry and play. They are invitations to experience transformative and empowering community. Student feedback has suggested that these classes and workshops have made great contributions to people's quality of life. As a result of workshops I've offered at district gatherings, NVC practice groups have been formed in other UU congregations.
Several students have found that NVC has helped them to mediate conflicts, and become happier and more peaceful people.
What is the practice of Compassionate Conversations?"
communication that values maintaining connection and nurturing trust, cooperation and support between people, rather than being right or getting one's way.
It seeks to:
- break out of habitual ways of speaking and listening that block connection and cooperation,
- learn more fulfilling ways to express ourselves, and how to hear more deeply into what others are expressing
- pay attention to where energy abides, listening for "juice" or passion
- listen empathically / express ourselves honestly and responsibly.
- focus on observations, feelings, needs and requests
- making specific requests for what we imagine will contribute to making life more wonderful
- become cognizant of what gets in the way of natural giving and receiving.
- avoid language that labels, diagnoses or defines others in negative ways
- make specific requests of behavior that we imagine will contribute to making life more wonderful for us and others.
- inspire compassion from others / respond compassionately to others and ourselves.;
- resolve conflicts by focusing our consciousness on what we and they are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting.
If you want more information about CC (or NVC) check out:
1- http://www.uuspeakpeace.org/web/
2- http://www.cnvc.org or http://www.nvcacademy.org
3- Rosenberg's book (available at the church bookstore for purchase for $18).
4- Here are some short videos from youtube. I hope the introduction they offer will be useful to you.
If you are interested in learning "Compassonate Conversatons," in starting a practice group, or having me give a presentation to your group, please contact me. 210.365-7169.
Peace!
Phil